Monday, February 8, 2010

Pastafarianism

An Announcement:

I am changing my religious belief. I am renouncing Atheism in favor of Pastafarianism. If Intelligent Design does exist, as almost all religions propagate, and the world, specifically humanity, was created by a superior creature who is omnipresent and all-knowing, and is pure and can make no mistakes, then that superior creature HAS to be His Noodliness The Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Why, you ask? First, because the theory of 'Evolution' makes no sense. I mean, do you expect me to believe that we humans, superior to all other creatures on this planet, are descended from mere monkeys? My vanity forces me to disagree. And has anyone ever been seen turning from a monkey into a human? No, scientists only dig up old bones and start false rumors, when they don't even realize that this 'evidence' has been put up by His Noodliness Himself. Humans have not evolved from monkeys, but from Pirates.  ( Humans share around 95% DNA with monkeys, and more than 99.9% DNA with pirates - The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.)

Global Warming is also a direct result of the decrease in the number of pirates (the sea-faring, swash-buckling ones, not the modern day downloaders) and here is the graph illustrating it:

Graph of Global Temp vs Pirates

And then there is the infallible evidence that His Noodliness created the universe. None of us were around to see it, ofcourse, but there are written accounts of it. And the Holy Book of The Pasta gives a detailed description of his powers, an example of which would be the expansion of the universe, which he is constantly fiddling with the help of his noodly appendage. His appendages also control Google's search engine.

His Noodly Appendage

Ofcourse, all other so-called creators, especially the Invisible Pink Unicorn, are fake. As we all know, there can only be one Creator of the Universe, as there is only one universe, but people seem to forget that. No wonder we have so many beliefs around the world. But Pastafarianism is the One True Religion, and His Noodliness the one true creator. He is, obviously, invisible and can pass through matter. It is indeed the ultimate truth in the universe.

The Holy book of the Pasta also contains extensive details of the events leading to the Great Wars between the Instant and the Cup noodles (which the instant noodles won, after a tremendous fight by the Cup noodles). It specifically says that Fryday is the holiest day of the week.

For obvious reasons, you cant ask His Noodliness to prove that he exists. And if the reason is not obvious to you yet, let me illustrate it: its because He doesn't want to.

May you be blessed with a pure Inner Pasta Sauce,
RA'men.

Source: Church of The Flying Spaghetti Monster | Encyclopedia | Wikipedia | YouTube
The Flying Spaghetti Monster is not to be confused with Santa Claus.
Santa Claus is a figment of your imagination, whereas The FSM is for real.
Thanks to PP for the Blasphemous comment: "God Knows".
This is actually a public service message, in order to make you aware of the Truth.

2 comments:

Ankita said...

"fryday" "ramen" :))

bung_dvrchn said...

This shit is all lies. I am god.Dammit.

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