Saturday, April 24, 2010

Conspiracy Theories

I am diabolical.

Oh, you don't believe me? I can prove it. I am currently devising a secret plan which is going to overthrow the current established authorities and plan to take over the world. 

Or not.

Well part of that line was true. I AM cooking up a secret plan. And I have a partner in crime too. RV. Yeah, The Random Variable and me are up to no good. It's a conspiracy!

Saturday, February 27, 2010

The Lost Soul



The worst part about falling in love is falling out of love.

Different people have different ways to fall out of love, however. Some people wake up one day realizing that their partner is not good enough. Some people fall in love with someone else, so they fall out of love with the previous person.

It sucks, of course, for the partner, in such a situation. Results in heart break. Paramedics rush to the spot.

Dealing with heart break? Different people, different ways. Like ignoring the person. Or listening to sad songs till you start crying. Talking to friends. Or punching a hole in the wall.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Still Blogging




"
PM: wat a lame blog!!!!!!!!!
Me: !@#$
"

Oh, let me introduce the Peeved Mythomaniac (PM). Yes, Mythomaniac is a word, and it does suit him, as he does have a tendency to lie or exaggerate the truth. Peeved, 'cause he appears so in this post, even though on normal days he is irritating himself, and proud of it, too.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Pastafarianism

An Announcement:

I am changing my religious belief. I am renouncing Atheism in favor of Pastafarianism. If Intelligent Design does exist, as almost all religions propagate, and the world, specifically humanity, was created by a superior creature who is omnipresent and all-knowing, and is pure and can make no mistakes, then that superior creature HAS to be His Noodliness The Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Why, you ask? First, because the theory of 'Evolution' makes no sense. I mean, do you expect me to believe that we humans, superior to all other creatures on this planet, are descended from mere monkeys? My vanity forces me to disagree. And has anyone ever been seen turning from a monkey into a human? No, scientists only dig up old bones and start false rumors, when they don't even realize that this 'evidence' has been put up by His Noodliness Himself. Humans have not evolved from monkeys, but from Pirates.  ( Humans share around 95% DNA with monkeys, and more than 99.9% DNA with pirates - The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.)

Global Warming is also a direct result of the decrease in the number of pirates (the sea-faring, swash-buckling ones, not the modern day downloaders) and here is the graph illustrating it:

Graph of Global Temp vs Pirates

And then there is the infallible evidence that His Noodliness created the universe. None of us were around to see it, ofcourse, but there are written accounts of it. And the Holy Book of The Pasta gives a detailed description of his powers, an example of which would be the expansion of the universe, which he is constantly fiddling with the help of his noodly appendage. His appendages also control Google's search engine.

His Noodly Appendage

Ofcourse, all other so-called creators, especially the Invisible Pink Unicorn, are fake. As we all know, there can only be one Creator of the Universe, as there is only one universe, but people seem to forget that. No wonder we have so many beliefs around the world. But Pastafarianism is the One True Religion, and His Noodliness the one true creator. He is, obviously, invisible and can pass through matter. It is indeed the ultimate truth in the universe.

The Holy book of the Pasta also contains extensive details of the events leading to the Great Wars between the Instant and the Cup noodles (which the instant noodles won, after a tremendous fight by the Cup noodles). It specifically says that Fryday is the holiest day of the week.

For obvious reasons, you cant ask His Noodliness to prove that he exists. And if the reason is not obvious to you yet, let me illustrate it: its because He doesn't want to.

May you be blessed with a pure Inner Pasta Sauce,
RA'men.

Source: Church of The Flying Spaghetti Monster | Encyclopedia | Wikipedia | YouTube
The Flying Spaghetti Monster is not to be confused with Santa Claus.
Santa Claus is a figment of your imagination, whereas The FSM is for real.
Thanks to PP for the Blasphemous comment: "God Knows".
This is actually a public service message, in order to make you aware of the Truth.

Sunday, January 31, 2010

The Elusive Poet

You must have noticed a 'Cast' section on this blog. Over there, in the column on your right. Just below the 'About Me' Section. Yea, that one. It consists of a few of the people I interact with, and whose recent interactions with me are worth mentioning. These are real people in my life, and chances are, if you're reading this blog, you know some of them.

One such person is the EP (short for Elusive Poet).

Now if you're wondering whether the nicknames I have given (yes, they are nicknames, and there is no such person named Elusive in my life. Who the hell would name their child Elusive?) have any relevancy to the actual person, then the answer is yes.
So here's a poem by the Elusive Poet and myself, which was unintentionally and accidentally scripted in chat, and intentionally and unaccidentally copied in blog:

An Exclusive Poem from The Elusive Poet (and another clown)
"
EP: :O ah thou wrung my heart, oh heartless
Me: aaah!! a poem frm the EP!!!
EP: i expected thee to disagree n assure me m a gr8 poetess :(
Me: *fled
EP: apparently this poem turned out to be a real mess
      thee left me in gr8 distress :'(
Me: dont give me stress :P
EP: i cn do whtevr i like m a princess >:(
Me: oh stop behaving like a kid ur highness! :D
EP: this is no way to woo or impress! :O :D
Me: arent we a lil bit offtrack, digress?
EP: atleast u dint call me an ogress :(
Me: now that wud have resulted in bloodiness!!
EP: enough of our foolishness :D
Me: seemed to me like The EP's classiness 8-) <3
EP: *flutters eyelashes n caresses a tress <3
Me: ah, the possibilities in my heart are limitless! <3
EP: ahh poor poor me is now wordless :(

Me: then let me free you out of ur wordlessness :P
       so let go ur stress
       and accept my sincereness
       lets end dis silliness!
EP: u taught me humbleness
      evryone cn be an elusive poet or poetess :(
      wht bout my uniqueness?
Me: you forgot ur elusiveness!
       it was just my resourcefulness...
       that lent me such words with rapidness
       If it werent't for google, i'd be helpless!! :)
EP:  u have made me so helpless
       !
       coinci
       !
Me: hehe
       ok lets end it at that 
"
So now you know, EP is really a poet. And this is her picture:


Well not really, it's not her's, I made that up. Did you forget what 'E' in EP stands for? Elusive. So I have never been able to take a picture, as she always eludes me. The above image looks more like a middle-aged LOis Lane.  Yeah, LO-L.

© Elusive Poet And Syzygial Scorpius Creations, All Rights Reserved.
You are not allowed to copy this poem without permission. You are, however allowed to tell other people about this blog, and spam this site's address on their scrapbook, wall, e-mail, or coffee. But make sure the coffee is not decaf.  Don't Plagiarize other people's work, and give  us credit if you do mention it to someone.

Piracy

My name is Syzygial Scorpius, and I am not a pirate.

I do not commit acts of robbery. Or criminal violence. And especially not in any sea / ocean / water body. Or their shores. And neither do i illegally download copyright Software / music / games / movies / TV shows / E-Books / Groceries / T-shirts from the internet.

Definitely not Groceries.

After all, why on earth would I want to download readily available content for free, when I can easily pay for it and download? Better still, go to a shop and pay for it? And if they don't have it, then make them order it, and then wait for it? Why indeed? :-/
I love to pay $100 for original video games that I don't intend to play after 2 weeks. That is, if i don't throw them within 2 hours. I also enjoy renting DVDs, but I prefer to buy a copy for myself, too. I love that anti-piracy ad they have in each DVD, the one you can't skip. Click on this youtube link to see why I love it.

And I don't listen to songs, unless on the radio. With all the groceries, video games and DVD rentals, I can't really afford music albums too! So I end up singing and playing on my own, even if my roomies can't stand it.

And this picture confuses me. Comment, if u can explain what it tries to convey..


I keep having nightmares about this picture.

I believe that Piracy is immoral and unjust, as all of us should pay exactly what the entertainment industry demands us to, and if we can't afford it, we should stop enjoying Art and media, in all it's forms, i.e. music, films, and books. Even images shouldn't be spared, and we should be charged to visit our local museums and art shows to have a look at paintings. Wikipedia should also be banned, along with everything Wiki-related , as free content is just not acceptable!

Pirates are common people all around us, who do illegal activities such as downloading movies for free. Or a single song. They don't realize how much they are harming the Industry, which earns much more in a day than you could ever earn in a lifetime.

I am ashamed to admit I know a few pirates myself. One is the Subversive Sarcast (SS), who plans to overthrow the entire Entertainment Industry by downloading all there is to download. But don't tell anyone, it's a secret. And yes, if that plan doesn't work, he has a second weapon - his Sarcasm. And his idol is Jack Sparrow! :O

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Google It!

EP: apparently scorpius killed orion or sumthng
     *hypnotized*

Me: :O
       whr did u get that info?

EP: google
      :D

Yeah, Google. The answer to all of life's mysteries. And i mean ALL. From 'How did life start' to 'How to destroy life', from Acidic acid to Zinger Burger, Quarks to Quasars.

I should, at this point, introduce EP. Short for Elusive Poet. It was the poet who triggered my blogging, actually, by pointing me towards several of those 6-7 blogs i read in the past week. And it was the poet who linked me towards RD's blog which acted as a catalyst in making me write my own. So all hate mails should be forwarded to RD. (RD = Rebellious Doodler = 'R' in the first post). So The EP is.. well read, intelligent, witty, and also elusive and a good poet.

Face it, the first time you heard the word Syzygial, you must have googled it. You would have found it's meaning, along with it's root word: Syzygy. And if you haven't, you should. It doesn't cost anything you know..

Want to learn a new instrument? Google it. Pick up a new recipe? Google it. Build your own black hole? Google it. Or click here. (WTF?!!)

Frankly, most people would be surprised by what google can do for them. And what services google offers. Like Google Sites , Google Insights , Docs , etc. But the irony is, the most widely visited site is in fact the least complicated, least cluttered. And it doesn't even have it's own content. It uses other sites to supply the answers! (notably, YouTube, Wikipedia and Answers.com)

"Which guitar does Eric Clapton play?"
"Google it."

"What's the speed of light?"
"Google it."

"How do i kill an ant?"
"Google it."

"What's this stupid Error 404 on my internet explorer?"
"Google it."

"How do i clear this level of The Legend of Zelda?"
"Google it."

"How to tie a tie?"
"Ask Google."

"Which is the only king in a modern standard pack of cards that doesn't have a moustache?"
"Google."

"Should i break up with my girlfriend?"
"Google knows the answer."
(Indeed, google does know it seems, 
as this search generated about 14,100,000 results).



"What should i eat for breakfast today?"
"Did you try googling?"
"No, is it some kind of a cheeseling?"

"When will i die?"
"Don't worry, Google will warn you beforehand. Didn't you check deathclock yet??"

"Who is the guy who invented Google?"
"Just F****** GOOGLE IT!"

"Google mata ki jai!" (as RD would put it!)






Ofcourse, there are other search engines too, like Yahoo! and Bing. But "Google It" sounds much cooler than "Yahoo it" or "Bing it". 
I would like it if you used google. I will hate you forever if you use any other search engine, but if you use google once everyday you will certainly go to heaven. And if you stop other people from using any other search engine, you will also get a chance to take part in the heavenly lucky draw on your way to heaven, which has a flying motorcycle as the first prize.
LOL. Ofcourse i was kidding. Motorcycles don't fly. The first prize is a normal 180 cc bike.

Friday, January 29, 2010

Blogging

So here i was, chatting as usual. My way of interacting with people who seem like a billion miles away. Using :D and :P every other second. And i ask the one i'm chatting with, lets call her 'R', what she would like to achieve this year. One of her answers: To write a new blog. Now that gets me thinking. She already has one?? oh boy.

Over the week, I read many blogs. Well around 6-7 atleast, which i consider to be many, seeing as how less often i read blogs 'cause i keep myself busy wasting my time doing nothing productive to the naked eye. (Don't go looking for a microscope right now, measuring my productivity will count as a loss in yours.)

So here i am, doing something productive, something creative. Writing my first post.

I told another friend, lets call her Random Variable (RV for short), that i'm writing a blog.

Her first question: 'It's about?'

Stumped. Is a blog supposed to be about something? :O

Me: nothing specific :P
thinking of a url rit now

RV: name it nothing specific

(:D)

Yes, writing a blog means you have to name it. And i have a fascination for fancy names, so it took me time to come up with something that i liked. Hope you, as a reader, like it too.

So RV got me started on thinking of the content. I find someone else online (lets call her P) and i tell her about my intentions to blog.

P: what'll u begin with?

Me: blogging

P: errr... topic?

Me:'blogging'

P: ohh now i get it!

Me: :D

And so i start this journey of blogging (like a noob, as my friend Slayer would put it) with no idea of where i'm going.